Bad Date?
by Fujiko Kuwabara
Summary: After the longest time, Yamcha starts dating again. He's so nervous - but why? Is it because is date is with a man or is it because the man happens to be one of his very good friends? Slight yaoi, and language. Enjoy.


Okay, so I actually haven't watched Dragon Ball Z (the show, I've seen the Bojack movie and the History of Trunks recently) in almost forever - forever being a few years, like four or five so I apologize if some things seem off or whatever. So, this is about my two favorite characters of Dragon Ball Z on a date. So, this is my first Dragon Ball Z fic and my first yaoi fic - so if you don't like yaoi, then you might want to stop reading right now. Other than that - enjoy!:D

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Yamcha gulped nervously; it had been such a long time he had gone on a date with someone – well, a serious date with someone he had truly cared about, anyway. The last serious date he had been on was one of the last dates he had had with Bulma.

He glanced over at his date, who had the same blank unimpressed look as always. His date kept looking out of the windshield, arms crossed over chest. Yamcha cleared his throat and thought of something to break this awkward silence.

"So, uh . . . the movie was pretty great, huh?" He chuckled nervously.

"Oh, yeah, definitely!" His date answered energetically, nodding as a small smile appeared. "I love movies with a twist like that."

"Yeah, they're pretty cool." Yamcha said softly; he was extremely aware of the bead of nervous sweat that skied down the side of his face.

The inside of the car was silent except for the radio that played a low almost inaudible volume. Yamcha's date turned to him, a serious look on his face.

"Are you nervous?"

Yamcha flinched as if he were struck by something. He shook his head, shooting a glance at his date with a reassuring smirk on his face.

"No, why do you say that?"

His date sighed, eyes closing and relaxing into the passenger seat of the car again.

"Yamcha, I know you."

"I'm sorry." He stammered. "This is like the first serious date I've been on since Bulma and I broke up and it's also the first date I've ever had with –"

"I understand that much, but it's _me_. How long have we known each other? Years, man!"

"Yeah, I know but –"

"Don't try to make up any excuses."

"I'm not trying to make any excuses, you jerk!" Yamcha pounded a fist on the steering wheel. "God, you're difficult. Why is it that every time we get together we always fight?"

"You start it."

"Are you kidding me?" He shrieked as he turned a corner, heading towards his date's house. "What are you? Eight years old?"

His date chuckled, head shaking.

"See? There we go! There's the Yamcha I know."

Yamcha blushed and tried to sink lower into his seat, hands gripping the steering wheel.

"You're not gonna treat me like your other dates, are you?"

Yamcha's blush deepened and he shook his head frantically.

"No! No way! I'm so not ready for that yet!" He said quickly.

"Oh, get over yourself. It was a joke." His date sounded frustrated and slightly hurt.

"I'm sorry, I'm not making fun of you or anything. It's just that –"

"Yeah, I get it. You think it's weird because I'm a guy."

"It's not that."

"Yeah, it is. Or is it because it's me?"

"Well . . . a little of both, I guess. I mean . . . y'know."

His date sighed exasperatedly.

"Thanks a lot."

"God, would you cut that out? I'm just not ready for that yet, y'know?"

"Yeah, I get it. I get that just because I'm not a tiny busty blonde bimbo, you –"

"Listen to yourself!" Yamcha shrieked. "You're getting upset because I don't want to have sex with you!"

"I'm not upset and don't yell at me, you asshole!"

"Don't call me an asshole and this is _my_ car and I will do _whatever_ the hell I feel like in here!"

"Yeah, I could tell that by the mystery stains in the backseat."

Yamcha slammed on the brakes, the two of them lurching forward. Yamcha glared at his date.

"Get out."

"What?"

"I said get the fuck out!"

"Yamcha, it was just a joke."

"It was not funny, get the hell outta my car!"

"Is this how you treat all of your dates?"

There was a slight taunting tone to his date's voice. Yamcha gripped the steering wheel tightly, his glare deepening. His date matched his glare, arms crossed again. His date smirked.

"You asshole, you know I'm just joking around with you."

"You're not funny right now. Or are you ever – leave the jokes to Krillin."

"Oh, well, why don't you just go on a date with Krillin?"

"I don't want to go on a date with Krillin!" Yamcha slammed his fists against the steering wheel, accidentally blaring the horn. "Why are you acting this way? The night was going so well until you got into my car and opened your mouth and ruined the moment!"

"Moment? _Moment_?" His date scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Yamcha, there _wasn't_ a moment. You spent the entire movie, twitching and looking around nervously like you were checking if anybody we knew was around. At dinner, you didn't say more than three words to me."

"That's not true!"

"Yes, it is. Your exact words were "Order anything from the dollar menu" – and oh, yeah, thanks _so_ much for taking me to McDonald's on our first date. Like I don't go there almost everyday anyway to get Happy Meals for –"

"I was trying to save money for the movie!"

"Yamcha, _I _paid for the movie!" His date flung his arms into the air wildly, his eyes narrowing. "You bought popcorn and you didn't even share it with me!"

The two were quiet for a moment, breathing heavily and angrily through their nostrils as they glared at each other. Yamcha was the first one to turn away.

"I'm sorry about the popcorn." He said softly.

"It's not about the popcorn, Yamcha." His date sighed audibly. "If I were a woman, would you have treated me differently?"

"That isn't important, it –"

"If I were a woman, would you have treated me differently?"

Yamcha sighed and nodded slowly.

"Yeah."

"Great."

"God, I'm sorry! Okay? I'm sorry I'm a terrible date! This whole thing is new to me, y'know, I mean I don't normal date guys especially guys I've known for almost my whole life!"

"Why does that make a difference? This date could have been totally normal, like we were just hanging out like always. You're a nervous little freak, aren't you?"

"Damn it! Shut up!" Yamcha started the car again, trying not to speed the rest of the way to his date's house. "I'm only extremely nervous around people I really, really like, okay? Tonight was excruciatingly painful, there were so many things I wanted to do but couldn't because I was afraid of how you'd react or how people would react or if anybody we knew – like Vegeta – showed up."

His date blinked then a small smile broke out on his face.

"You like me?"

"Yes, why the hell do you think I asked you out? I've had this huge . . . _man crush_ on you since I was with Bulma. Which is one of the reason we broke up."

"You guys broke up because of me?"

"Not entirely, don't get all excited." Yamcha mumbled as he pulled into the driveway of the house.

He turned the car off and the two sat in silence for a moment. Yamcha leaned back into his seat, sighing.

"Look, I'm sorry this date was so freaking terrible. If you ever want to see me again, I'll make it up to you."

"You just need to relax, man. Seriously, nobody we know would really give a damn if they knew that you were gay. I mean, everybody was really supportive when I came out . . . Well, Vegeta was uncomfortable around me and didn't talk to me for a while, but who cares? It's Vegeta."

"He hates me and the only one who wouldn't care about me being gay is Goku, he doesn't care if you used to be a desert bandit or a nose less midget or if you came to destroy the world but mended your ways or if you're blind, deaf and dumb at the same time or –"

"Or have three eyes." His date smirked.

Yamcha looked at him and smirked back, nodding.

"Yeah. Let me walk you to the door."

The two got out of the car and slowly trudged up the walkway to the door. They stood at the doorway, slight blushes on their faces as they looked away from each other.

"So, uh," His date cleared his throat. "Do you wanna . . . come in for a few minutes?"

"I don't know, is –"

"I'm sure he's asleep, he's just like a little kid."

Yamcha was quiet for a moment then looked up at his date. The bigger man smiled down at him.

"I think I'm just gonna head home and go to bed. I do have work in the morning."

"Sure, man, it's cool." They were silent for another moment until Yamcha's date broke the silence. "Tonight wasn't that terrible."

"Really?" Yamcha hoped he didn't sound overly excited.

"Yeah, I mean. I love chicken nuggets and, like I said earlier, I love movies with a twist like that and . . . I like spending time with you."

"Really?" He repeated.

"Yeah and I've had a 'man crush' on you for the longest time, too."

"Really?" He asked once more.

"Yeah, ever since I was with that psycho that made everything I did and say seem like walking barefoot on broken glass." His smirked widened into a playful grin. "It's the hair that got to me, really. You have amazing hair."

"Ha, thanks, man." Yamcha ran a hand through his hair, smiling. "I take pride in my hair."

"Yeah, we all know."

"Hey, shut up." Yamcha punched his date in shoulder playfully. "At least, I have hair."

"Ooh, real original."

The two smiled at each other for a moment until Yamcha moved from the front step, keeping his eyes on his date as he gave him a small wave.

"So, I'll see you some other time? Like at Goku's or Roshi's?"

"Yeah, what're you doing next Friday?"

"Nothing, why?"

"Well, he's going out of town to visit family." Yamcha's date jerked his head to the house, gesturing to it. "So, I'm gonna have the place all to myself. Maybe, you'd wanna come over and we'd get a pizza and rent some movies or something . . ."

Yamcha nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Yeah, I'd like that a lot." He jerked his head up in a goodbye nod. "Seeya later."

Yamcha turned around and started his walk down to the driveway to his car.

"Yamcha!" He heard his date behind him, his hand on Yamcha's wrist. "Wait."

Yamcha turned around and looked up into the eyes of the bigger man. His date put his arms around Yamcha and pulled him close, kissing him gently on the lips. Yamcha slowly put his arms around the bigger man's torso and leaned into him. A minute later, the two parted and looked at each other. Yamcha blushed, feeling his lips. His date cleared his throat and looked away, blushing.

"So, I'll see you next Friday." He said after a moment.

"Yeah," Yamcha said softly, replaying the too-short-for -his-liking kiss in his head. "Seeya later, Tien."

"Seeya."

Yamcha waited a moment, watching Tien enter the house and close the door behind him before heading back to his car, getting in and driving off.


End file.
